Episode 129: Speculative Conversations and Lego Batman

Chances are that if we have had any kind of nerdy conversation together I’m going to go into a diatribe of how a particular character or a serial will develop. I’ve been studying storytelling for a long enough time to have a good enough idea and with a crazy sense of optimism in how a story can grow I come up with some interesting possibilities. If you follow me on the book of faces, you have probably seen a few of these beforehand. Many of these speculations occur through extended comments with friends, more often than not with super cool pop culture reporter and good friend Rose Hernandez. It is with her blessings that I offer the present and future post tag of “Rose Garden Stories” of passing along said info in this humble blog.

Today’s post comes from a conversation detailing the reveal of the Lego Batman film for potentially 2017. The sad version of what I came up with goes something like this: So here’s a weird idea of how the plot could go for this movie that would be appropriate but heart wrenching. What if the kid that is playing with Batman figures is an orphan himself? Obviously not to the tragic levels of Bruce Wayne, but yeah the adventures of Batman going through different worlds and scenarios are a reflection of the kid going through different foster homes. It it were the kid from Gotham then the meta levels would be intense. Wow, too many feels for a Lego movie.

A slightly less depressing but way more convoluted version then came up. And again, directors and producers of pretty much any kind of film, I am available for hire if you want stories like these to make their way to the big screen. Two brothers start playing with their respective toys. Let’s say one is seven and the other thirteen to better illustrate just how varied in detail and awesomeness their respective legos are. They play and argue about a lot of stuff but one point keeps being part of the conversation, who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman. Interestingly, it’s the younger one who favors the dark knight as the older one has begun losing that childlike wonder of imagination and creativity and prefers the straight up power of Superman. Hell, take away Superman and replace him with Iron Man for an even more interesting discussion. Anyways, the older brother is going to go on his first camping trip over a week with boy scouts because that’s a reason. Since this is the first time the siblings will be apart, the little one is obviously bummed out. The older one feels the same way but he won’t admit so he allows his lil bro a rare concession of unlimited access to his toys, so long as he is very careful with them.

Now we have Batman transitioning from a limited play space to a whole new world of adventure. Some of the more adult characters like Spawn or even some weird Japanese figures make a cameo. Batman is fighting and doing awesome things all over until suddenly one of the rarer figures breaks (let’s say it’s a limited edition Superman for sake of continuity.) It’s the kid’s/Batman’s fault so both try to hide the evidence of their misdoing but are guilted by the broken figure/sense of brotherly affection to make things right. The Caped Crusader will of course scour through different settings to find something that can help and eventually hears of the mystical Crackle, an object once used for great evil but that can be used to make things right. All the while the kid is avoiding tipping off his parents and working within a limited time table, so stealth missions in the dead of night of 9:30pm will be common. Batman will eventually take on the rest of the master builders to take the crackle and maybe face some of the more dangerous monsters out there (mostly power tools from dad’s garage where the crazy glue is located. Along the way, Bats will have plenty of friends to help but some will become enemies as they realize that the power vacuum of no Superman (and maybe no Batman if they take advantage of the situation) can lead to a new world order for toykind. Batman’s broodiness and paranoia takes an even bigger point and is magnified as the kid refuses to let anyone come close to knowing what happened and he even shuns his own friends. In the end, we get a power of friendship scenario, Crackle is obtained, repairs are made, but the glue isn’t quite set by the time the brother comes back, picks it up and the jig is up. The little brother explains everything, anger subsides and the older sibling realizes that maybe he doesn’t have to grow up too quickly as they both start playing once again. THE END.

Oh and the movie at some point there should be a How It Should Have Ended cameo because those guys are awesome and the superhero cafe should definitely be a thing.

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